As a psychotherapist, I see a number of clients between the ages of eleven and eighteen–many were at a small Massachusetts movie theatre last night (metaphorically speaking), as I sat in the last row, crying my way through this latest offering from writers Scott Neustadter and  Michael H. Weber:  they also gave us “500 Days of Summer” and “The Spectacular Now”.  Based on the enormously successful young adult book by John Green (a hundred and twenty-four consecutive weeks on a Times best-seller list), there was an inherent responsibility for the filmmakers to make certain this film did not disappoint the novel’s rabid fan-base.  It did not.  The New York Times gave the movie an intelligently stellar review last Friday (“really a celebration–of adolescent narcissism”).  The recent New Yorker article on the author (June 9 & 16) poignantly revealed the personal journey that led him to create Hazel Grace Lancaster and Augustus Waters.

But what is so striking about the filmmakers is their ability to capture the messy, scary, angst ridden years of being a teenager / young adult.  In all three movies, the main characters are not “perfect” (i.e., they are alcoholic, academically challenged, terminally ill; Joseph Gordon Levitt’s character in “…Summer” doesn’t even “get the girl”).  They are all outliers, struggling to de-marginalize themselves, and yet stay true to their innermost identity (whatever that is–it could change moment to moment).  They are heroes and heroines, with tragic flaws.  Any adolescent or twenty-something seeing one of these films (and the very dark “Palo Alto”, based on the stories of the ubiquitous James Franco) would walk out of the theatre feeling better about themselves.  There is hope, albeit not always recognizable; these are movies for “thinking teens”.  One must hear the words, process them, and feel the connections, in order for the film to reach its audience.

Which brings me to another form of “hope”.  If young people are swarming to this 12 million dollar film (it will do over 50 million this weekend, when 20 was predicted), then there is obviously a desire for connection, a need for the collective experience of witnessing something that transcends the internet, IM’ing, and Instagram (texting plays a big part in the film; but Hazel Grace and Augustus talk for hours on the phone as well).  If John Green can speak to this demographic, we all can, in our own way.  And conversely we should listen to what they have to say; this requires respect, patience, and a good ear.  And I don’t mean applauding our kids for just showing up–that’s too easy.  I mean truly hearing the actual words, the meaning behind the words, and what is not said:  a commitment worth making.